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40. Building Financial Confidence After Control and Coercion – Tamara James’ Story

Season #2

Summary

In this powerful episode of The Erin Davis Show, host Erin Davis, Money Mindset and Grounded Rich Girl coach sits down with Tamara James (TJ), an accomplished executive assistant to discuss her deeply personal journey through financial control, coercion and the path to rebuilding confidence with money. TJ shares candid insights into her upbringing, relationships marked by financial instability and control and how she has gradually reclaimed her financial independence and self-worth. This episode is essential listening for women seeking to understand, heal and transform their money mindset, especially after experiences of financial abuse, guilt, or overwhelm.

Key Points

  • TJ's early experiences with money, family budgeting, and the impact of a scarcity mindset.

  • Navigating relationships marked by financial control, secrecy, and instability—including practical strategies she used to prepare for independence.

  • The emotional toll of financial coercion and the ongoing process of rebuilding confidence and self-trust around money.

  • The importance of supportive networks, safe conversations, and professional help in overcoming financial trauma.

  • Practical advice for women experiencing financial control or low money confidence, including education, support, and taking small, empowering steps.

⏰ Timecodes ⏰

0:00 – Introduction to Tamara James (TJ) and her background
2:30 – Family upbringing, early work, and money values
7:50 – Entering adulthood, first marriage, and early signs of financial control
13:15 – Relocating, job loss, and discovering financial instability
19:00 – Experiencing financial and emotional control in marriage
25:00 – Preparing to leave: building financial resources and confidence
31:45 – The emotional cost of financial coercion and survival mode
36:30 – Navigating new relationships and repeating patterns
43:15 – Workplace confidence vs. personal money confidence
48:00 – Rebuilding after separation: saving, buying a house, and travel
54:00 – The role of supportive partners and professional advice
1:01:00 – Creating new contexts and rewriting financial narratives
1:07:00 – Advice for women experiencing financial control or low confidence
1:13:00 – Final thoughts and the importance of safe, supportive conversations

Resources Mentioned

  • Hunter Business Women’s Network

  • The Gen Collective

  • Executive Assistant Institute

  • Employee Assistance Programmes (EAP) for financial and emotional counselling

  • Financial planners and professional counsellors

What to Do Next

  • Download Erin’s free Money Mindset Guide to start building your financial confidence.

  • Join the free 5 day challenge to learn how to live a rich girl life on an every day girl income.

  • Connect with supportive networks like Hunter Business Women’s Network or The Gen Collective.

  • Book a discovery call with Erin Davis to explore how The Grounded Rich Girl Program can help you transform your relationship with money.

This Episode Is For You If You’re Interested In:

  • Money mindset coaching for women

  • Overcoming financial control and coercion

  • Building financial confidence after divorce or separation

  • Empowering women financially

  • Healing from financial trauma and guilt

  • Women’s networking and support groups

  • Practical budgeting and financial independence

About Erin Davis & The Grounded Rich Girl

Erin Davis is a Money Mindset and Grounded Rich Girl coach. The Grounded Rich Girl programme is designed to help every day women live a rich girl life - one from from stress, overwhelm and guilt around money. Through supportive coaching, practical tools and a community of like-minded women, Erin empowers her clients to step into the rest of their lives with confidence - because smart women make smart money choices.

 

Ways to Work with Erin Davis:

  • The Grounded Rich Girl Programme: A step-by-step journey to rewrite your money story, build confidence and make empowered financial decisions.

  • 1:1 Money Mindset Coaching: Personalised support to break through money blocks and create lasting change.

  • Workshops & Webinars: Interactive sessions on money mindset, budgeting, and confidence-building.

  • Corporate & Group Programmes: Tailored workshops for organisations and women’s groups.

Connect with Erin Davis