OUTLINE
0:00 Welcome & Introduction to The Erin Davis Show
1:15 Why Money Shame and Guilt Are So Common
3:30 Erin’s Personal Story: Choosing Self-Investment
6:05 The Purpose of a Guilt-Free Abundance Plan
8:20 Recognising Old Money Patterns
11:00 Awareness & Mindful Spending
14:10 Practical Tips for Tracking Without Judgement
17:50 Building Joyful Spending into Your Budget
20:30 Sinking Funds: What, Why, and How
23:45 Planning for the Unexpected & Buffer Funds
26:00 Flexibility vs. Restriction in Money Plans
28:15 Creating Your Own Version of Abundance
30:00 Final Thoughts & How to Connect with Erin
THE ERIN DAVIS SHOW
Welcome to the Erin Davis show, where we focus on heart-led finance, where strategy meets purpose, and where you get to define what Rich truly means for you. I'm Erin Davis, your money mindset and grounded rich girl coach.
And if you've ever felt weighed down by money shame or caught yourself chasing someone else's version of success, you're in the right place. Here, we believe that when you get clear on your money, you get clear on your life. It's about making choices, saying yes when it matters, saying no without guilt, and creating that life that feels calm and spacious and rich in every way.
So this isn't about hustling for somebody else's dream or measuring yourself against those impossible standards. It's about getting real, being grounded, aligned, and unapologetic. We're done carrying the weight of not feeling enough together. We release the guilt, the shame, the money mistakes, and all those old stories that kept us small. We forgive ourselves. We honour our growth. We rise as grounded rituals.
We take responsibility for our money and our future. We respect it, nurture it, and track it, because when you love your money, it loves you back. We do the hard things, lean into the uncomfortable, and show up before we're ready, because our future is worth it. So we're not waiting, we're creating.
This is your invitation to step into a life of purpose, power, joy, and choice. This is what being rich looks like now. This is the grounded, rich girl life.
So today, let's get started. Our focus for today is building a guilt-free abundance plan so you can say yes to what really matters, without the stress or the shame. And I know that this can feel really scary and overwhelming, and a lot of women actually feel very anxious about spending or they feel guilty about wanting more. And you know what? That is completely normal.
So many of us have been taught that wanting this abundance or wanting more is selfish or frivolous, and we should be doing things for other people. Maybe you actually haven't been specifically told that. But I think as women and as parents or mums, we have this mentality that it is us doing everything for everybody else. We are at the bottom of the chain. We're the last ones to spend money on ourselves because we don't want to take money away from the family.
But you know what? I really struggled with this as well. When I hit my rock bottom space, I had the choice: do I stay where I am, or do I invest in myself? And that personal development question and choice was so hard for me because I actually had to take money away from our family, which felt horrible. I had to choose, and I had to choose myself over my family. And that decision was the hardest decision, because I had so much guilt around it and so much shame that how can I be taking money away from our family?
But you know what? It really ended up being the thing that changed everything for me. When I was able to move through what I was going through, I was able to step up, change direction, and do what I wanted to do. It actually changed everything for my family. It changed my relationship with my kids, with my husband, with my work, with myself.
So I get that spending on yourself can feel really, really hard, and there can be a lot of guilt around it. So the intention for this episode is to let you start to explore how you can create a money plan that lets you say yes with confidence and build space for the things that really light you up or the things that are necessary for you.
So by the end of this episode, I want you to feel really simple, empowered to plan for both your needs and your dreams without guilt. Because remember, being a rich girl or a grounded rich girl is not about making choices that feel calm and spacious and rich in every way. It's not about chasing somebody else's version of success. It's about your version. And to do that, we need to really shift our mindset away from there's never enough, or how can I make this work for me?
And instead we need to be saying, I can plan for this, or I have enough for this, or I deserve this. So instead of just saying, Well, I can't afford to go out for dinner, how about we try and plan and we then can go out for dinner without the gift. Guilt.
Part of this journey is actually recognising when guilt and shame start to creep in. It is noticeable when you are buying something for yourself and how you're feeling. Maybe you're treating your kids and you're saying yes to, you know, that spontaneous invite, but then you feel really bad about it, for buying something for yourself, or that you've taken money away from somewhere else within your family.
So this is about recognising where those old patterns are coming up, that I shouldn't want more, or it's selfish to spend money on myself. We quite often hear when we're growing up, you know, that money doesn't grow on trees, and so that can make us feel very anxious every time we want to spend, so it's really important to be focused on the awareness of what it is that you're thinking and feeling as these things come up.
You know, awareness is such a key piece to anything moving forward. If you're not aware, and you're living in this bubble of everything's okay, or everything's fine, and you're completely oblivious to anything else, then nothing's going to change. And if you're okay with that, then that is totally fine. But if you start to get some awareness, and you start to have those feelings that make you feel really uncomfortable or make you feel less than or not enough, then that's when we need to increase the awareness.
We need to realise where we feel the most tension or the most guilt with money. And so if you are always saying no to Coffee with friends because you're worried about wasting money or that you can't afford it, that is a trigger, and that is something you need to be aware of, because money just needs to be the tool. You need to be able to say yes without guilt. You need to have the abundance to choose, and you need to be giving yourself permission to want more, desire more, to have more comfort, to have more luxury, to have more joy. And these are completely valid and worthy goals.
So allowing yourself to dream about a holiday or an art class or a running event that costs an absolute bomb.
You're allowed to do that. We need to allow ourselves to do that without actually shutting ourselves down. And so abundance isn't about spending recklessly or saving every single cent. It is about creating very intentional, values-aligned choices, and when you can step into that space and start to plan for both the essentials and your little luxuries, instead of feeling like you have to pick one or the other, you shift into this abundant mindset, and you shift into this feeling of abundance.
And this really needs to come from that self-respect, reflection place. I want you to start to pause before you spend and think, Well, is this aligned with what really matters to me when you're buying something? Ask yourself, will this add value or joy to my life? By doing this, you're creating a shift every single time, and when you are saying yes to something meaningful without guilt, you are rewriting your story.
So it's about enjoying that planned treat that you have, and feeling really proud with yourself for that intentional choice. And I want you to think about, where can you give yourself more permission to enjoy your money? So where can you actually say yes to things and celebrate it?
Because remember, abundance isn't about having it all. It's about feeling empowered to choose what matters, and letting go of guilt for wanting a rich, joyful life. And when we get down to it and we get real, it's about how do you spend your money, and how do you make every dollar feel more aligned and intentional and joyful.
So mindful spending isn't about restrictions. It's about choosing what really matters to you and letting go of that guilt for wanting a life that feels rich. And I say this to my clients all the time, that we need to start to be really intentional with the way that we spend our money.
Every time we make a purchase, it's a choice, and mindful spending means that we pause before we purchase and say, Does this align with the value that I hold most, most dear to me? And when you are making purchases based on these values-driven methods, your money is therefore a tool for you to be able to build the life that you want and not just pay the bills.
I want you to notice what really lights you up. Think about those little luxuries or those experiences that make you feel abundant. Maybe it's fresh flowers on your desk every week, maybe it's a monthly lunch with a friend, or maybe it's purchasing a new book and allowing yourself the time and space to take some time out to read that book.
The important thing is that you reflect on the purchases that really brought you happiness, instead of focusing on those, those purchases where you felt like you should, or that left you feeling flat. Notice the difference between how those purchases actually feel, and when you are able to realise that that spontaneous coffee date with your friend brings so much more joy than a pair of shoes, you're able to shift the way that you feel about that purchase.
It's about choosing to step into this space of abundance and how money is making you feel because of the experience that you have. And so, there are some practical tips that I want to share with you for tracking without judgement. This tracking isn't about catching yourself out. It is really just about getting curious. And I know that when I did this and looked at what we actually spent, I was quite shocked at just how much we spend on particular things. When you have that information, you can come from it from that place of curiosity. You then have information which you can then make really informed decisions.
There are so many different tools out there to be able to track your spending. You can use so many different apps—there's free or paid versions. You can use a spreadsheet. You can use notes on your phone. You can actually just write it down. Whatever works for you is the most important thing.
You could categorise your expenses into yes categories, then make a space in your budget for things that trigger the most joy. You know, put aside $20 or $30 or $40 or $50 a week or a month to purchase a new book, because reading is really your happy place. Build that into the budget, the what you need to spend, because when you start letting go of this should spending, and you should be spending on this particular thing, you release that pressure to keep up with everybody else, and you maybe skip that trendy gym membership because you know you're not going to go, but instead you put that money towards the fresh flowers or the book.
And it's about choosing what you really care about, where we actually have discretion and choice as to where our money goes each month. And I then want you to look at, well, am I spending out of habit, guilt or comparison? And what would it like? What would it look like if you were to say yes to more of the things that brought you joy and more no to the things that don't bring you joy?
This is really hard and challenging, I know, particularly in a space where there is this cost of living crisis that a lot of people are experiencing, and I'm not discounting that at all, but what I'm saying is, how do you change your spending habits so that you can create a feeling of more abundance and more joy. It's about letting go of that strict, restrictive budget and being more flexible and being open to what it is that's important to you.
So to do this, I would list down your non-negotiables. You know that's the housing costs, your rent or your mortgage, your electricity, food bills, transport, and they are the things that are non-negotiable. They have to happen every week.
And then I want you to add in, well, how can you make space for the things that really light you up? They don't have to be big. We can just set aside a small amount every month for the coffee date or the flowers, or, I don't know, whatever lights you up. It doesn't have to be big.
And that feeling of building in these joyful things and the abundance of things can. Can really shift the way that you are feeling about money. I want you to be realistic, though, and not rigid, and your plan should feel really supportive and not restrictive.
And if you really love to eat out, just think about, well, how much do I need? How can I shift where I eat out so I still get that joyful feeling of eating out, but it's not costing something that's ridiculous that puts so much pressure on the rest of your budget.
But I also want you to build in a buffer so that you are aiming for some breathing room. Now this buffer can be a small amount, and it can account for those emergencies or the inconveniences. But it's not the crisis. It's not the the emergency fund that if you lose your job or you're injured, this is the small, little buffer that you can start to build up for those just in case times and celebrate every dollar that you put away, no matter how big or small, because this is this is where you can start to increase the amount that you have available for these things that bring you joy.
So make room for both those needs and wants. It's okay for you to have wants. You don't have to stay in this space of just purchasing needs all the time.
I want you to feel where you can or look at your budget and look at your spending to say, well, how can I build in something within my money plan that is not so restrictive, that allows for the space or the spontaneity or the joyful things that I want, because those things, remember, are the things that bring us the joy.
And remember that your money plan is this living, breathing thing. It can grow and shift with you over time. So every intentional choice you make towards creating this life that feels calm and spacious and rich in every way, you're actually giving yourself permission. You're not waiting for permission. You are creating your own version of abundance. And it is at one very loving decision at a time.
I think that that is such an important space. Because, you know, we need to remember that there is not a perfect time to start this. We can start from where we're at. We can pick one area of our life that we want to bring more joy and more abundance and more spaciousness into, and that is the thing that you can focus on.
So maybe take some small steps to set up a sinking fund that allows for these little luxuries that you've been putting off for so long because you've been focused on all of your spending is focused on the family. It's focused on other people. It's focused on taking care of everybody else.
But you know what? If we are able to create this sinking fund to just allow ourselves some luxury and guilt-free spending, that is going to start to shift the way that you feel about money.
So I would, as I said, start by working out what are those non-negotiables in your household for the week or the month. Notice any patterns, notice how you're feeling, and then start to think about, well, what is it that I want to start to do for me?
You can start to create this sinking fund that when you put money into it, you know at the very beginning that it is going to be spent on you. Now, these are mini savings pots. These are for the things that you know are coming, but don't happen every month. It's for the thing that you want to spend your money on but you haven't been able to in the past.
So instead of panicking, instead of stressing out, instead of feeling guilt or saying no because you can't step into it, how about you start to build that into your buffer now. Saying no because you can't step into it, how about you start to build that into your buffer now. And you know, sinking funds are also really great for those unexpected bills that don't pop up all the time, but you know that they're coming, and if you are able to start to plan for them, that is going to take away the stress and the guilt. Because remember, the more we step into this space of being in control, making decisions that align with our values, we start to create abundance.
Now, some of the sinking fund categories that you may like to think about are holidays or Christmas money, school uniforms, school fees. Maybe you need a medical fund, or maybe you just want a fun money account for those spontaneous adventures. I know for me, the Christmas situation always sneaks up on me, and I always think that at the end of December, next year will be different. I am going to plan for Christmas. I'm going to start now. I'm going to start to budget for it so it is not going to be a surprise, which then, how can it be a surprise? We know that Christmas is coming every every year, but we get caught up in living in the day to day, and we don't actually think about what's going to happen down the track, but that, for me, creates a lot of stress and a lot of worry, and also takes away money that we could be using in other areas.
And it is definitely a time where, in the past, I have said no to things for myself, because I need to redirect the money. So how about instead, we start creating this sinking fund in January that we know is going to cover what our Christmas expenses are going to be. And now you could use the basis for what you spent on Christmas this year or last year. Divide that by 52 and that will work out to be how much you need to put aside each week in order to get to the total that you want.
So all of this is about how we create this guilt-free abundance plan that makes you feel in control, and it's about looking at all the different things that are coming up. And instead of thinking that, you know, we're just very reactive, and we just need to do all of these things because they're coming up, how about we flip it around and start to be proactive?
And when you put systems and processes in place, it then allows for spontaneity and creativity. I always say that we need a strategy meeting purpose. We need to have a plan. We need to have structure, because then that structure takes away the stress and the overwhelm and allows for the freedom and allows for the fun, because we know everything is sorted.
It reduces so much guilt, because you know that you have planned for this spontaneous spending. You know that you have planned for these luxuries. You don't know what the luxuries are that you are going to spend on, but you've got a fun money account, or you've got some money set aside that you know is available for you to spend on whatever you want. So that, in itself, takes away the guilt and the stress from taking money from other areas in your life or in your budget.
So definitely set up this sinking fund for yourself and for this fun space. But you know, I really just want to encourage you that creating abundance is what's important to you.
What does that look like? How does that need to be? And I think we get so wrapped up in trying to keep up with what everybody else is doing, we don't actually stop and think about, well, what is important to me? What is it that I want?
And if you want to build a guilt-free abundance plan for yourself where you can spend without the guilt and without the stress, then you need to take a few steps back and look at what you're actually spending and create a plan. The plan doesn't need to be restrictive and so strict that there's no room for flexibility, but if you don't have that information to start with, then you can't show up in a place where you feel in control. So that would be the first thing that I would do.
And then I would look at, what is it that brings that joy and that spark to you? What are the things that mean abundance? Because, again, that means something different to everybody. What are those things that you want to do? Because you know that they light you up and they make you feel good.
Because, remember, grounded rich girls decide, they choose their own version of rich. They spend their money based on their values and what's important to them. Because we are the ones that get to decide. We are the ones that choose to show up in a way that feels good for us.
So I hope you found something helpful today. I would love to know your wins. I would love to know what your messy middle actually looks like. Because you know, we're all in this messy middle place, and it's okay, but the more we step into this space of taking care, control and taking creating intention around what we're spending, the more we are able to step into this grounded, rich girl space, which is about creating your own version of abundance.
Thanks for tuning in today. I really hope you enjoyed the show. If you did, head over and subscribe and also leave me a review while you're there, I would love to read it. Don't forget to share this episode with your audience and tag me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/erindavismoney/
If you need any more info from today's show, head over to https://www.erindavis.com.au/podcasts/the-erin-davis-show , where you'll find all of today's show notes and links. See you next week on the Erin Davis show.